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- -- - -- - AIM sn: The Sharp Pain

Movements of Drained Blood.

07.09.04 (3:11 pm) [edit]

My youth is wasting.
My tongue is bleeding.
The clock is ticking.
My lover's weeping.
My eyes are wandering.
My mind is thinking.
My lips are figeting.
My heart is beating.
My thoughts are running.
The game is playing.
My time is stopping.
The feeling's staying.
My end is coming.
My friends are persuading.
My parents are watching.
..while...
My blood is draining.

------
I decided to just put some poems on here too. o.0

Glad to be back on, writing...

07.07.04 (6:07 pm) [edit]

Well, well, well. How glad I am to be back on here, writing, is more than words can express. I forgot about this site for quite awhile and just went to your-poetry.com to submit there. I think I will just start writing about my days, my life, and my wisdom in here... rather than on Xanga. Mmm... Root Beer. Oh, how good it is. Right now, I am at my mothers' office... 'working'. It's past Nine PM over here, and it is starting to get on my nerves. I am typing with one finger in a 'cast' because I 'broke' it. = Bummer, eh. Yes, yes... I did so by playing a game of volleyball with some of my college friends. I should be getting my hair-cut soon. My style of hair right now is Bleh. I need something... intriguing. It should be just that. Sheesh, my finger hurts. I think I should lay off the typing for a bit. G'day to you all.

Hello Comrade. "Begun."

05.03.04 (6:19 pm) [edit]

I don't want to become a restless victim.
I'm already wasted for the last time.
I'll give in to your intentions.
..For now I cannot hide.
I'll die after my world caves in.
I cannot escape my crumbling fears.
You aren't even here to see
me before I cry bloody tears.
I've felt numb, alone lately.
I cannot find my path.
I'll show you my, your fate.
So I can die before the wrath.
With things said.
and with things done.
I can live..
My world's begun.

Ramblings while I sit here, empty..

04.12.04 (8:40 pm) [edit]

..within me lies an empty heart
Full of misery and regret.
I've felt this way so long, too long.
To realize what I'll get.

I swallow each pill with such ease.
You think you know me
but things aren't what they seem.

Faking my existance isn't what it's about.
I've urged for you to live, but nothing ever comes out.

My face seems burned..
from all your lies.
Now the tables have turned
See it through my eyes.

Truth be told, honest.
I've loved you more each day..
Even though you cause me pain.
My heart screams for me to stay.
===

Wtf.. Iono.

Inside a box.

04.12.04 (1:17 pm) [edit]

I'm hiding inside a box within
Feeling the pain my heart holds thin.
Adjusting to the movement heard outside
A useless theory used many times.

In a shadow of darkness is where I fall and sink.
I've become moody and smarter than you think.
Still, you're the one I hold accountable for this
Even though you won't be there to witness it.

I had an assignment, but it was dismissed.
I felt as though I was determinded to drown.
..determinded to let myself take in the waves.
Reaching for my grasp, I fall onto the ground...

====
Hmm.

Royal Flush, eh.

04.05.04 (8:44 pm) [edit]

Quickly, I push your love away.
I can lie so easily to you.
It's not that hard for me to do.

Even though it's over.. I've got an urge.
My overwhemling feelings controlled me
I felt like jumping of the edge.
I needed to escape this

Then, I knew it was just a glimpse
Of what you've felt
I didn't know what happened..
..what cards have been dealt.

I look in my hand and wondered.
..These fit together, without a doubt.

But what happened to us?..
We've been put out.
We could've been a royal flush..
But, instead.. Got caught in a rush.

Caught in a never ending cycle.
Of real and unreal.
We couldn't determine what was right
Couldn't think of a deal.

---
Shittttt, I didn't know what to write.. Meh, Who cares if my poems are getting shitty?

..Longest word typed with just the left hand...

04.05.04 (8:25 pm) [edit]

...[b]Stewardesses[/b]
Here are some other words I found that are typed using just the left hand...
serve care car tree greed tart tar was cat free far few saw dew rat rare rawr as ass fat fart fade sad wade date gate tag rage cage wage sage feast crest were crew grew stew brew reef target feed seed cart dart regret wag feet fret fag draft raft weed greet sweet tweet seat retreat reserve rag sag desert dessert dress sex secret fee west red cast fad deaf treat dad water read dead fast dread rad star are err excert great we deserve dagger tatter fetter fever freeze gag gas grease graze graft wet wedge decrease cease cede

Here's some with just the right...
I you pop pull pill pimp boob boo limp limo job hop jump junk bun bum yum nun mom link lip hun bunny pup hip my mum kill hump bump bib oh mini yup no um uh on bin bill bimbo bull pump numb hill mill nip loin lion limb milk ilk buy imp in poll pool ink mop pun yo-yo poi kiln kilo kin kooky knoll bop pink jib joy kimono hum loop kinky hip-hop homo hobby hobo

Well.. I think I've got waaaaayy too much time on my measly hands.

Just some parts of future poems.. maybe..

03.29.04 (3:24 pm) [edit]

Between the torment and Lies, My heart sinks deep.
Far away from paradise, Where my soul bleeds.
Buried within my veins.. Through the starry nights.
Dive through, from the edge into the bright light.

Just Because I can.

03.24.04 (7:27 pm) [edit]

I'm risking everything for you...
Just because I can.
I'm in this dark world again...
Bleeding where I stand.
I'm going deaf from the screams.
Silently they escape my mouth.
I beg to you to get me out.
But where you are, I know not.
Before you tell me to leave
I'll say this one last time
I'm your dark angel, darling.
I'll take your love through time
Back with me, home..
To where I won't be alone.
Just because I can...

--
Uh.. I wrote that in.. -looks at watch- 4 minutes.

Young Love.

03.23.04 (8:41 pm) [edit]

The essence of my being
Isn't what it seems.
Through your eyes you see..
A smog that covers me.

There, I said it..
not that I'm wrong,
but this young love..
Doesn't last long.

As you say 'I love you' to
the one you seem to care.
Look through his face
And know the lies are there.

It's just that you're young and selfish.
Want the world for you..
He keeps your heart locked up tight.
Making you think he's for you..

Waiting for the time..
..To bring you down too...

Do I love you?

03.23.04 (8:27 pm) [edit]

Do I love you..
If pain is my friend,
If my life ends..
When yours begins?

Do I love you..
If you're never there,
If you saw you saw me..
But don't really care?

Do I love you..
If I think I do,
If you think the same..
But don't truely do?

Do I love you..
If time flies,
If you'd never notice me..
Even if I'd cry?

Revenge.

03.22.04 (5:55 pm) [edit]

Revenge, they say, won't help..
"I need to search myself.."
What the hell do they know?
Fuck this shit, and let me go..
I'm better off doing it..
My flame's already lit.
Kill 'em for the years..
..watch every tear, roll..
..Off every cheek,
with the feeling of regret.
To be in this situation,
..and not know what you're gonna get.
My anger's built inside..
..horrible thoughts of this..
My feelings show, I love it so..
..To see you squirm like kids.
Watchin' your every movement..
..questionin' your every thought..
Thinkin' of a life well know..
..But take it away, and what you've got..
..Is a person like me.
A kid with detailed thoughts.
A person who doesn't give a damn..
If you're loose or caught.

Familar Stranger

03.18.04 (8:42 pm) [edit]

This memory is burned into my mind.
The thoughts, then, seemed so divine.
I open the locket around my neck.
..Only to find a person I regret.

It's the face of a stranger
that seems so familar.
My eyes wander to the floor.
I try to forget but my headache grows more.

I lay here in my room.
Thinking of just what to do.
Who's this person looking back at me
it what resembles a mirror?
I don't know, but whoever it is.
She looks so familar.

Only Truth.

03.13.04 (10:51 pm) [edit]

I live a gray and unregreting life
never thought twice that I might
live to see another day
Live and well as you can tell
i'm here no more
just in spirit and memories
to show how much i love you
You didn't make me suffer
You didn't make me fall
You made me laugh
you made me stand tall
Friends are what i needed
cause family is what i had
i had friends, but none i could call
none that would understand me at all.
It's not that I hate you
it's just as i knew
i hate life itself
and nothing can change my aspect about that
nothing but the truth..

Everytime.

03.13.04 (10:50 pm) [edit]

It hurts so much everytime..
I wanna kill this thing inside.
Outside I'm perfect, nothing's wrong.
But When I sit alone, I'm so gone.
I wanna kill it right now..
but my feelings fill me up with doubt.
Stabbing my insides I know its true.
I didn't do this just for you.
My outside face hurts this much.
But my insides finally get flushed.
Body hurts, as I fall..
Knowing that you love us all.
I'm coming there, accidents happen..
But I'll be here..
In the world of the forgotten.

Alive

03.13.04 (10:47 pm) [edit]

Will the sun rise
If [b]darkness[/b] is the only thing.
..Will my soul [i]die[/i]
If loneliness is all to be?

If my life [i]ends[/i]
will you make fun of me
If my wrists [b]bleed[/b]
will you worry about me

Becuz right now I'm [b]confused.[/b]
I don't know where to go.
I'm [i]lost[/i] in this maze of life
And I forget the roads.

Will I get out [b]alive.[/b]
Or am I doomed to die?
Is dying really so bad..

Sick of [i]pain[/i] and depression.
Lies and [b]hurt.[/b]
..Painful thoughts that once won.
..I can't be too sure.

--
Well hell. I think that's the worst so far.

It all comes down to this.

03.13.04 (9:18 pm) [edit]

I've sat here so long
waiting patiently
Hearing the voices call
So angrily
Decide whether to fall or stand
Give me the helping hand
Wait here for me to appear..
with the face ive so anxiously..
awaited to disappear
[b]My faith is dying, i feel it as it shrinks.
Spirits, making strong the one we call weak.[/b]
Intenstions seem in order
but the expression doesn't fit.
Just as you thought before
I'm nothing more than this.

-----
It was a spur-of-the-moment writing.. Er. Yeh. :?

Escaping.

03.06.04 (1:21 pm) [edit]

This blank paper lays in-front of me
I can't think of the words that seemed to be
All I needed to live with you in happy lands
Faith is [u]dying[/u], I feel it through my hands
Now you're gone and I've lost my mind.
So full of pain, It's hard to find
You, in this [b]darkened[/b] heart
Because I can't see, I'm [i]falling[/i] apart.
It's haunting, the feelings, that get so near
Real thoughts hurting my soul to tears.
In this closet, my fears escape
They fly through the air with little to take.
I've lost it already, of course you knew
I thought of [b]suicide[/b] but was too afraid to do.
With all my words jumbled and you so far
I think it's the perfect time to do what I saw.
Happened with them, with her here.
Finally escaping my world of [i]tears[/i].

Pretending.

02.29.04 (9:45 am) [edit]

You still don't see why I don't believe.
..Everything is crumbling down to my feet.
I'm standing on top of this covered hill.
But where'd you go, are you here still?

So I will not pretend about my thoughts.
Falling through dreams I see your face cross.
I get scared easily, sometimes I can't sleep..
I'm just so damn scared becuz of what I see.

I smiled with you by me and around my friends
becuz I knew it would never end
I might as well just pretended and forgot.
..but inside, Now that's where I'm lost.

Smiling, my pain through the edges show.
Laughing, it's hurting my tortured soul.
Crying, my eyes turn red but I feel better.
Dying, just as I told you in the letter.

Hurting, tell you what I know..
Believing, in the things you said so..
Giving, a life better to one well-known.

I think about this everytime I cry.
I believe in the things that die.
From now on and forever more..
I'll see what I can do to escape this torture.

Just as I suspected, but always never knew.
I'd give anything to have a life like you.
And as my eyes shut and the light dims.
I think that I get a chance to start over again.
---

Er, Yeh.

Immortal

02.22.04 (8:14 pm) [edit]

As darkness falls I close my eyes.
I think and wonder, Why'd you die?
Was it becuz of me...
..or was it your time to leave?
Did the moon hit right..
..or was it just your night?
Fate is a chance,
but then how would I know?
I feel scared, Alone.
But I will recover,
you may be gone
but it's not over.
I feel so betrayed
yet there's nothing to do.
'Cause as the light fades..
..I know i'm coming to you.
Why'd it happen this way..
..Why couldn't you stay?
I was immortal with you by me..
I needed nothing but you and me.
I will be alone,
and they may think it's fine.
But becuz of you being gone..
..One day I'll die.

------

Er, I don't know if it's good or not.. But oh well. At least I wrote it myself. Yeh, I decided to just put some of my 'writings', if you must, in here. Uh.. Can you tell me what you think? :?

..Nothing.

01.18.04 (6:14 pm) [edit]

Jovan's comin' over tonight.. I'm going to play the song I came up with on the guitar for her. I'm in a band, if you didn't know. It's called Delay. -shrugs- Nothing much.. but we all agreed and decided it was a cool name. What do ya'll think? Please leave a comment and tell us what you think of the name, "Delay." Thanks a ton.

Kidd

Thought of the week...

01.17.04 (12:47 pm) [edit]

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

<.}--Nothing--{.>

01.05.04 (4:59 pm) [edit]

School starts back tomorrow, and here I am again.. at my mother's office. Trying to stay alive, the boredom's killing me. The buddy4u Profile server deleted my Kick-butt profile. Damn morons are taking over, I swear.. I get a whole NEW class order tomorrow also. Next year I'll be going to a new school, because of the complictions of my living-space. So, yeh. My brother is already going to transfer tomorrow to his new school, in pearland. Yes, I live in Pearland.. with all the elder people. Kind of bites.. not a lot of people my age are around where I live in Pearland. Except for both my neighbors. My best friend and I went to the Mall the other day, and spent most of our time at Hot Topic. I bought the Switchfoot CD though. I've listened to the whole CD four times today, and practically know all of the songs. It's 6:50 in Texas right now.. and boredom is everywhere. I got that NEW top "banner" thing up.. that reads "Innocently Yours.." with the blue flames. I found it really nice, except for the fact that it isn't suppose to be that big, and they scretched it out. I have Orchestra double blocked now, for the second semester. I'm almost 1st chair cello. That's the instrument I play, the cello. I've been playing since the 5th grade. So.. I think I'm pretty okay. But, I defiantly don't suck. So, it's okay. I recieve a new CD/Mp3 player for Christmas, and a pair of Vans. Yeh.. Jessica broke up with Matt a few days ago. I IM-ed Matt, and just was cussing at him for being so rude. His comment "You better shut-up or I'll get my home-girls to fuck you up.." And then, immature as he is, blocked me. What a little fuck-tard. I swear.. I hope he burns in the abiss of hell. Damnit. Now I'm mad. Okay, gotta go. Later.

"You all laugh at my because I'm different, I laugh at you because you all SUCK."

Hangin' on the flip side of boredom...
Kidd :!: :!:

-nods- Uh huh...

12.13.03 (6:46 pm) [edit]

I get really pissed at AIM sometimes. Just because it corrupts or some shit... Damn. I hate it when that happens. Anyways... It's cold in Houston, still. I think I am just going to throw on a jacket and some sweats and run out to get something to eat. Any Ideas anyone? Yeh, comment if you know of any good places in Houston. Well... Forget it. I am going grocery shopping. Leave a comment anyways, if you want.

-nods- Uh huh...

12.13.03 (6:45 pm) [edit]